COUPLES RETREAT OR COUPLES INTENSIVE

OR COUPLES THERAPY?

Couples therapy is typically a weekly session for 80 minutes.
Couples Intensive includes a two hour intake & 12 hours of therapy over a weekend.
Couples Retreat takes place over a weekend, with 3-5 couples and two therapist.

What are some typical issues addressed in couples therapy?

Creating safety so you can get a handle on life when it feels out of control.
Learning more effective ways to communicate so that you can feel seen and heard.
Learning how to grow greater intimacy and passion in your relationship.
Disrupting the old patterns of communication so that something new can emerge

Intimate relationships are hard work and it is often lonely. You do the best you can, but it still doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped. Couples can begin feeling relief from the distance and pain in their relationship by learning new tools so that they can experience the kind of connection and love that they have been wanting and deserve.

Frequently, I work with people who:

are navigating a life transition, ie. new baby, health issue, retirement, elder care
feel stuck and have a breakdown in communication
don’t know how to move forward after one partner had an affair
have a desire discrepancy and other sexual related issues
are stuck in endless circles of blaming and hostility with their partner
have lost sight of the reason they’re with their partner, and need to find a way to reconnect, or decide if it’s time to end the relationship or marriage

aren’t sure how to navigate the waters of "couple hood" after having a new baby
are wondering if they’re as happy as they should be, though unable to pinpoint an exact issue

How does couples therapy work?

I have specialized training in couples therapy in the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, Psycho-biological approach to Couples Therapy, known as PACT, Gottman Method of Couples Therapy, Internal Family Systems Model, as well as training from the Institute of Relational Intimacy to treat sexual concerns. In addition, I utilize the latest research in brain science to enable you to understand why you do what you do in stressful interactions and to help you learn new, more effective responses. This model integrates the following three scientific areas of study as well as practical techniques you can start using right away:

The first is neuroscience, the study of the human brain. Understanding how the brain works provides a physiological basis for understanding how people act and react within relationships. In a nutshell, some areas of your brain are wired to reduce danger and seek security, while others are geared to establish mutuality and loving connection; this can cause a biological paradox. As with all of my work, couples therapy is grounded in neuroscience. One of the biggest breakthroughs in our profession is our recent knowledge that the mind can change the architecture of the brain. I will help you learn how your life trauma gets stored in the emotional brain and in your body, which then contributes to the pain you may feel in your relationship.

The second is attachment theory, which explains the biological need to bond with others. Experiences in early relationships create a blueprint that informs the sense of safety and security you bring to your adult relationships. Insecurities that have been carried through life can wreak havoc for a couple if these issues are not resolved. The quality of early life experiences profoundly affects couples' relationships. We will work together to identify the primary attachment pattern for you and your partner and learn immediate applications to help you and your partner develop earned secure attachments.

The third area is the biology of human development, which takes into account normal stages that individuals and couples go through. These stages are struggles, which are extremely tough at times however they are also normal. An assessment to where you are and where you may be stuck is completed and presented to you. Most couples tend to replay the same dynamic over and over again doing everything they know how to move forward, but there is something that may keep them stuck. Understanding your role in this cycle will enable you to manage differences with a foundation that will last you a lifetime. I work to support the evolution of each partner, as well as the growth of the relationship.

The average couple waits six years before seeking help to save a troubled relationship. Six years of having the same arguments, feeling the same dissatisfaction, experiencing the same disappointment. After so many years, it can be difficult to change well-established patterns on your own, and sometimes it can even feel hopeless. If you are struggling with your relationship, not feeling connected to your partner, or if your trust has been broken, please don’t wait one more day, call (619) 446-7660 or email marucheau@gmail.com to get some relief.